


Mutual 오해

by SleepyTabletop



Category: League of Legends RPF
Genre: Angst, Happy Birthday, I have no idea who Chovy is please spare me, Korean fetish, Language Difference, M/M, Mentions of Sex, Misunderstandings, NEMECLOWN, Nemesis/everyone, One-Sided Attraction, Pining, Projecting, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unreliable Narrator, no beta because it's not ABO, really fucking oblivious Neme, yes all of them but not at once
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-10
Updated: 2020-10-10
Packaged: 2021-03-07 15:50:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26930170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SleepyTabletop/pseuds/SleepyTabletop
Summary: Nemesis is surrounded by English and Slovenian speaking people and at the core, those are the languages he should understand. The only thing that keeps him from doing so is that words don't always mean what a dictionary says. At least not when it comes to intricacies of human relationships.
Relationships: Nick "LS" De Cesare/Tim "Nemesis" Lipovšek, Oskar "Selfmade" Boderek/Juš "Crownshot" Marušič, Tim "Nemesis" Lipovšek/Jeong "Chovy" Ji-hoon, past Tim "Nemesis" Lipovšek/Juš "Crownshot" Marušič
Comments: 3
Kudos: 21





	Mutual 오해

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LilRoundabout](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilRoundabout/gifts).



> A birthday gift for LilRoundabout! Happy birthday and long years of simping <3 Here is a Nemesis/everyone fic for you (maybe it’s actually a gift from me to me? hmm, anyway~ you were still my inspiration lol also I know it's not 1818 words bc apparently I'm the kinda person that asked for a dog gives you a horse but I'm not sorry ok)
> 
> The title means "Mutual understanding"... or does it? I don't speak Korean and neither does Nemesis. The point is that I'm not providing you with any translations for the Korean parts (I hope you’ll understand why while reading!), but if you want, feel free to use a translator anyway (that’s what I did to get those sentences too…). If Nemesis ever says something in Korean, it’s going to be written in English or phonetically, because that’s what he thinks he’s saying.
> 
> disclaimer: I do not condone all of the actions taken by my characters nor do they represent their real life counterparts - they are purely fictional.

Nemesis can swear LS has a Korean fetish.

They have been friends for enough time now that Nemesis is sure. He has saved clips of the coach using Korean and has been playing them on repeat over and over and over again, just for research. The little "ayish" sound Nick sometimes made when he is malding. The "buoy" word that rolls off his tongue in just the right way to show how disappointed he is with an ongoing play or someone missing an easy skillshot. They are in Korean. Nemesis doesn't know any Korean, maybe besides "dududunga", but finds those phrases weirdly mesmerising. They are his first pieces of evidence. 

The second clue about LS's Korean fetish lies in his obsession with LCK teams. Europe is creative, China is scary, but Korea... oh, Korea. As an LCK caster, LS is biased. Everyone knows this. Nonetheless, hearing him sing praises about those teams hurts Nemesis a bit, because he doesn't think they are _this_ good. They just play in the style that LS likes, scaling and methodically acquiring small advantages instead of rushing in and hoping for an outplay. It's not Nemesis' fault the EU is not like that. He would like it to be, he loves the Korean style of play. Still, he hears LS mention those teams way too often, even when they are co-streaming together and it would be more appropriate to talk about LEC, but LS never mentions Nemesis. Or, according to what little Twitter birds told him, he does, but when Tim isn't there. What's the point? 

The third proof in the case of LS's Korean fetish is his crush on Chovy. He mentions him pretty much every day and Tim must listen to this. They are on a co-stream of the LCS and honestly, Nemesis would rather be anywhere else than here, with this stupid person, watching stupid players... but he is getting paid, so he will survive. It's his job, nothing enjoyable.

"Hey, Nemesis~" LS sings and Nemesis instantly knows that he is in a flirty mood. "You probably miss me over here in Europe, right?" LS pauses for a few seconds but Nemesis knows he will start talking again if there is no answer. What is he supposed to say in a situation like that? His mind begs him, screams at him to say his signature 'yes' and maybe add a chuckle or even a lovestruck giggle, but there is no way he can do this. He can't flirt back without any meaning, he would never, it's not his style. Besides, LS already has his eyes set on somebody else, Nemesis knows this. No way Tim could compare to the Korean. He doesn't understand why LS keeps flirting with him, but Nick is flirty with Sanch and Crownie too, so it's just a personality trait. Nothing real. Nemesis doesn't share the trait, so he stays silent.

"I know you do! Anyway, we will meet soon when we go to the Worlds! So what do you say we watch a movie, hmm? Twitch chat, is there anything good in cinemas lately? I haven't been in ages," LS continues just like Nemesis expected him to. It's just idle talk, there is no need to answer, so Tim focuses on the game. 

"Bjergsen carried this teamfight and now they are going to win," he mentions just to change the topic. There was a huge, game-deciding fight on a screen and LS wasn't even paying attention. Coach, by the way. 

Nick is pouting and Tim can't look at it. It's too... cute. For a moment LS looks like he wants to get to the previous topic, but he drops it with a little smirk creeping onto his features. 

"His positioning is good, yes, but it doesn't matter anyway, he's richer than you after the birthday stream. Imagine him laning against someone who wouldn't let him get this advantage, like Chovy. It would be a different game! But his opponent had to do something in the sidelane, his hot date was waiting here, and Bjergsen could freely farm, of course they won," he rants but Nemesis doesn't really listen after hearing about Chovy for what feels like the umpteenth time. Chovy, Chovy, Chovy. Even while being on a call with a different midlaner, all Nick talks about is his Korean crush. 

\- Nemesis > Chovy > Bjergsen, any truers? - comes a message from the twitch chat and Tim looks at the nickname. It's Pete. He is a nice guy and even though he doesn't know much about League, Nemesis appreciates his loyalty. 

"Look," Tim points Nick's attention to the chat. 

"Oh, hi Pete!" LS chirps before reading the message. When he does, he is clearly amused. "I'm sorry, but are you out of Silver II yet? No? You're really comparing the Korean prodigy to this salty lemon? That's an L for you," he banters with a big smile and the chat spams lemons, something about Nemesis being the 14th best mid in the LEC and W's. 

They banter, compare everything to LCK and Nick mentions Chovy every once in a while. This is how their days pass. This is why Tim knows he has no chance - not that he needs a chance. He doesn’t want one either. 

Nemesis is not simply jealous of Chovy. He knows what jealousy feels like. It feels like Oskar and Jus getting together and leaving him behind, even though Jus had previously confessed to Tim, but it was all too difficult to handle because they chose different teams. Nemesis didn't understand how to keep a long-distance relationship alive. Not that he does now. Besides, he always knew that Oskar is better suited for Jus and that he was only just a phase. He doesn't understand why Jus chose him in the first place, probably only to play with his heart. They broke up, and for the year that Tim was alone in Fnatic, he got to learn the sour feeling of jealousy. 

What he is feeling now isn't the same. If envy is a lemon, torturing his tongue and numbing his taste buds, this new feeling is more of a raspberry - still sour, but with a tint of sweetness. Nemesis hates lemons, but raspberries are somewhat okay. The difference between the tastes is subtle though, and the feeling is something he doesn't quite understand. Putting effort into understanding feelings is not something he is eager to do either. 

In order to research the root of LS's fetish, Nemesis watches some videos for research. There is only one way to get to explore _in great detail_ how a relationship of a white person with a Korean would look and it's _not_ Korean dramas. Maybe it could be, but Nemesis is not really interested in them. Instead, he chooses porn. 

Now Tim can say he understands a bit, and he really, really wishes he was Korean. He is not. This simple truth is a bit much to handle and he has to take a break from Nick. They still stream together as per contract, but Nemesis is reduced to his ‘weapon with no emotions’ side. 

The difference is subtle, but Nick somehow catches it in no time and confronts Tim. Why is Nemesis suddenly acting so distant is what he asks multiple times, but to no avail. After all, there is no way Tim tells him he needs to limit their contact for a bit. He wouldn’t understand. But he still wants to know, and seeing no answer, he slowly starts getting irritated with Nemesis. Off stream they argue a lot, Tim saying that everything is alright and Nick passive-aggressively answering that ‘sure, that’s why you’re not talking to me anymore’ or begging ‘please Tim, just talk to me’ or snapping ‘why are you like this, can’t you just tell me what’s wrong?!’.

Nemesis knows he fuels the arguments with his vague answers, but he just wants to take a break from the feelings he doesn’t understand. Being angry with Nick for prying too much is an emotion he understands. So he settles with that and they begin a silent period.

Fnatic goes to Worlds and Nemesis has a lot of free time on his hands during the quarantine. Normally he would probably talk to Nick on a daily basis, but instead, he busies himself with playing rounds after rounds of soloq. He knows that LS streams his Chinese Superserver games for the larger audience and Nemesis even gets some coaching because as he says, everything is okay. Privately, they don’t talk and Tim somehow numbs the wild emotion flying freely in his mind, making him see Nick as the best human alive, the perfect partner for long, late-night talks, hell, sometimes even all-night talks until they both mumble into their microphones at 6 AM and don’t care what they are saying because what matters is to hear the other’s voice for just one more minute, into a simple friendliness with a tint of irritation.

On the very second day of the quarantine, Nemesis finds himself a new problem to keep him occupied. 

“Jus told me that we don’t spend enough time together lately, can you believe it? I’m at the fucking Worlds, and he tells me I should give him more attention,” Oskar rants through a discord call and Nemesis knows exactly what he means. Jus _does_ require a lot of attention.

“Shouldn’t you be talking to him instead of me then?” Nemesis observes and is proud of his keen understanding of the situation - it’s a really good point.

“Yeah… but he is too whiny and doesn’t listen to me,” Oskar complains and he surely seems exasperated. “If I talk to him for long hours, he’ll expect I’ll be able to do this every day throughout Worlds! And honestly… I want to concentrate on the Superserver soloq, but I can’t tell him this because he didn’t qualify. We talked about this about a hundred times but he’s still jealous we’re here together and he’s not...”

“So what are you going to do now?” Nemesis asks, trying to gently suggest Selfmade should concentrate on solving this problem first. Oskar and Jus are such a perfect match. Nemesis still feels a tinge of jealousy when he thinks about them, but he’s mostly learned how to deal with it. He allowed this relationship after all. Besides, their little drama is a perfect distraction and it’s not the first time they have mundane pair problems like that. For some reason, Oskar always comes to Tim to talk, even though he must be aware the topic is a bit delicate. It’s not like Nemesis has ever told him that, but Oskar was there through the whole Tim-and-Jus falling apart drama, so he should understand. He heard both their sides at the time and tried his best to fix the sinking ship, but the love the two shared during the Mad Lions days was already gone.

Nemesis bitterly reminds himself that he didn’t really mean it when he said ‘it’s okay’ to the relationship either, but Oskar and Jus took it literally. It sometimes baffles Tim how little they understand him, despite the fact that one is his best friend and the other an ex-partner. Still, they’re better together than they could be with anyone else and they’re both close to him. Nemesis will fight for this relationship.

“Probably play some soloq,” Oskar shrugs, completely missing the point and pulling Nemesis back to reality. “You wanna duo?” he throws with a huge hopeful grin on his face.

“Nah, if I duo with you, crazy Chinese fans will find my account again and make our soloq experience miserable,” Nemesis says exasperatedly.

“‘Kay, Lemon,” Oskar laughs, “shouldn’t have flamed their lord and savior Doinb, huh?” 

“Yeah,” Nemesis drawls ironically and it seems to be the end of the conversation for now. They say their goodbyes and go play League in relative peace.

Oskar keeps Tim busy with his complaints. They talk when they’re not playing or sleeping and while Nemesis enjoys the company, it’s a bit worrying too. On the 5th day, he wonders if he should contact Jus, but the other does it first. When a discord call ‘Crownie’ shows on his screen, Nemesis briefly wonders if he and his ex became suddenly more compatible, but drops the thought. There is no way Jus would understand him, and he doesn’t understand Oskar too.

“Hello, Jus,” Tim greets in Slovenian. His native language feels weird on his tongue because the only other Slovene he regularly talks with is Miky, but when talking to the G2 support he’d just use English unless he can’t find a word. It feels different with Jus though. It’s an old tale, a reminder that before their love drifted away they had something special. Only they could understand their sweet words while the world outside heard only incomprehensible mumbles. It didn’t save them from miscommunication and falling apart, true, but sharing their own ‘secret language’ made softly whispered ‘I love yous’ and other loud, yelled out confessions feel otherworldly, even if they were all lies. Despite various conflicting feelings Nemesis will forever hold towards Crownie, there is a place in his heart reserved for all those intimate moments they shared.

“...Tim, are you listening? You’re not. You’re zoning out on me, hello?” Jus says discontentedly and Nemesis definitely doesn’t have any place for _this_ impatient and aggravated iteration of him.

“Yes, I’m here,” he lies. He didn’t catch anything that Crownie said, but it was probably nothing important - Nemesis knows what the situation is through Selfmade anyway.

“I was asking what do you think I should do about Oskar,” Jus quickly repeats his last line.

“Shouldn’t you give him some more freedom?” Nemesis suggests right off the bat because this is all that the situation is about. Jus’ expression softens and a sad, crooked smirk wanders on his features.

“Tim, you weren’t listening at all. What I was saying was that he... he said he wants to break up,” he whispers in a voice so tiny Nemesis regrets inadvertently forcing him to say it a second time.

“What? He never told me that, and we talked a lot.”

“Yeah, it’s like... like, now that you two are in the same team and we’re not and… and it’s like… the situation is repeating itself, you understand,” Jus mumbles.

Nemesis doesn’t really think the situation is that similar. It’s true that when he was alone in Fnatic, Crownie and Selfmade were together in SK and they got much closer because of the whole falling out drama with Jus and Tim which Oskar was trying to solve. The difference though is that at the time Oskar was interested in Jus, and now that the situation is repeating itself with Tim in the middle, he is not interested in Oskar. He’s not interested in anyone for the time being. That’s what’s already different, not even counting in the Pole’s opinion.

“Hmm,” Nemesis hums in answer.

“I- I just don’t know Tim, I’m just… ah, okay,” Jus takes a deep breath, ”let me get this straight, I think I understand now how you felt when Oskar and I got together, okay? But I...” he doesn’t get to end the sentence before Nemesis cuts in:

“Of course you don’t,” he huffs. “It’s been more than a year, Jus, it’s whatever. I don’t care,” he grumbles and the Slovenian words burn his tongue. How come the language that was once so familiar and lovely in its sound feels so alien and uncomfortable? Why can’t they understand each other while speaking the same language, their mother one to boot?

“Tim. My point is… uh, it feels weird to say, but can you talk to Oskar a bit less? I want to get through to him,” Crownie sounds desperate and Nemesis feels mildly irritated at this whole conversation - he is not a part of this drama anymore, and yet they keep pulling him into it.

“I don’t think me talking less with him will help, but whatever,” Nemesis shrugs but takes a mental note that now he’d have to find some other distraction to keep his mind occupied.

“Yeah, leave it to me, I’ll sort it out. Thank you,” Jus’ face lights up for the first time since they started the call. They end talking on a positive note. Nemesis wonders how many days should he give them before he’ll learn how the situation is progressing.

The next day he dutifully informs Oskar that they should talk less. Maybe that’s how he should’ve handled the situation with LS because even though the Pole is angry and maybe even a bit sad, he seems to understand.

Nemesis doesn’t talk to anybody for a few days. Quarantine is a one long string of soloq games and since LS isn’t chastising him on his eating habits, like he always used to do when they still talked every day, he barely eats anything. Not that he needs energy anyway. He’s not moving from his chair at all, talking on his discord, turning on some Korean porn from time to time, grinding LP, and falling asleep on the keyboard. Good times for a gamer.

One day, or maybe one night, Nemesis isn’t sure because his time is flowing behind closed shutters, he notices a new development. Oskar’s innocent twitter flirting with MAD Lion’s ADC Carzzy is turning more and more aggressive, to the point where Nemesis feels awkward reading their messages on the Selfmade discord. 

He hesitates before messaging Oskar and instead decides to call Miky. The support has nothing to do with the situation and Nemesis is sure he can tell him everything and maybe ask for advice.

“Hey, Tim, what’s up?” a familiar expression greets him in English. “Ah, sorry, I’m in a game right now, but you can talk.” His voice is hoarse, like he hasn’t talked in days, and sounds surprised. Nemesis rarely calls him. Not that Miky misses him much - they live in a state of a perfect understanding of their mutual social boundaries. Which means that Nemesis isn’t calling out of the blue to ask how the weather is. 

“Hey. Have you seen Oskar’s discord?” Nemesis asks to assess how much he will have to fill him in.

“No, I’m not even on it. Ah, shoot, this AD carry… yeah, yeah, we’re all dead I guess. Okay, I’m listening,” Miky answers, only now paying full attention to what Nemesis is saying.

“I think Oskar is trying to make Jus jealous… do I really have to tell you everything?” Nemesis makes sure.

“Well, you don’t _have to_ ,” Miky shrugs, “but you _want to_ , right?”

He is right. Nemesis sighs and tells him the whole thing. How Oskar flirts with Carzzy through social media, how Tim argued with Nick and gradually started talking with Oskar even more than they used to, how Jus wants to get through to his boyfriend. Words flow from Tim’s mouth like water from a broken faucet and he’d never expect himself to need it so much. He used to talk like that to LS every evening and he must admit he’s already missing him and his stupid malding. It’s cleansing, like all sour feelings disappear when you say them aloud.

“Isn’t it the exact same situation you’ve been with Crownie and Selfmade before?” Miky points out when Nemesis finishes the briefing. “I mean, right before they got together.”

“It’s not the same. I’m not into Oskar,” Tim explains, slightly irritated that both his Slovenian friends seem to see the situation in the same light.

“What I mean is that maybe _he_ ’s crushing on _you_ , isn’t he?” Miky says with a forgiving look, like he wants to let Nemesis know that it’s okay if he hasn’t noticed until now. But-

“No, I don’t think he is,” Nemesis refutes.

Miky sighs.

“Let me put it like that - do you often watch action movies together, just the two of you?” he pushes.

“Yes, but he…” Nemesis tries to tell Miky that somebody who is taken _can’t_ be crushing on somebody else, but he doesn’t get to finish the sentence.

“Has he ever laid his head on your shoulder while watching said movies?” Miky cuts in.

“Yes, but he…” Nemesis tries once again, but Miky is relentless in his interrogation.

“Has he, by any chance, touched your hand?” he frowns.

“YES, but he’s-” Nemesis starts to get irritated but the fact that he can’t bring up his point, but Miky keeps butting in with a determined tint to his voice, making it unable for Tim to just ignore.

“Intertwined your fingers?” Miky’s face is now uncomfortably close to the camera and Nemesis scoots back defensively.

“YES, BUT HE’S TAKEN, besides, you used to do that too!” Nemesis cries out and the fact that his energy levels have been impossibly low for the last few days makes his head buzz. 

Miky looks at him as if he’s a new type of a snail he’s just discovered and isn’t sure if he should throw it out because it’s ugly or rather keep it for posterity because it’s unique. 

“That’s- that’s my point, Tim. I can’t believe it, you still haven’t realized I was crushing on you those five years ago…?” Miky is now so close to the camera Nemesis can see a crease formed between his brows very, very clearly. Too clearly for his comfort.

“...what?” Nemesis mumbles under his breath, feeling as if the rest of the world around him might also crumble any minute. Miky has never told him this, how was he supposed to know? He recalls some of the moments they shared, like them feeding fries to each other or playing four hands soloq games and tries to analyze them from this new perspective, but he’s exhausted and his brain isn’t cooperating. He feels like short-circuiting.

“You’re impossible. I guess you actually don’t understand anything unless it’s literally screamed in your face... How did you and Jus even get together?!” Miky sits back in his chair with a loud ‘plop’ and shakes his head.

Nemesis recalls Jus’ confession as something along the lines of “I, Jus “Crownshot” Marusic, love you in a not-only-friendly way, Tim “Nemesis” Lipovsek, can we please go on a non-platonic date?”, and he thinks that maybe Miky’s words make a bit of sense.

“Um. So you’re saying that Oskar has… no, it’s impossible, he can’t be crushing on _me_ ,” Nemesis huffs and the thought sounds even more absurd when he says it out loud.

“Well, I guess I don’t know the whole situation and the fact that he’s in a relationship is a good point too,” Miky shrugs. “You must figure it out by yourself I think. This, and your relationship with LS,” he looks up directly at the camera again and there is an underlying suggestion in his voice.

“What?” Nemesis feels like he must’ve missed something else, but he’s not sure if he wants to understand.

“You know… or maybe you don’t actually. Do you like him?” Miky pushes.

“Yes,” Nemesis answers simply. Of course he likes him, before Nemesis became suddenly irritated with him they used to spend a lot of time together and are good friends, why would he not...

“I don’t mean it platonically,” Miky sighs, pushes his glasses up the nose and settles down in a comfortable position in his gaming chair, finally one that doesn’t seem as threatening to Tim. 

“...” Nemesis has to think. Nick is his close friend, but they don’t talk much anymore because… Tim isn’t sure why exactly. They argued a lot after he stopped oversharing but LS didn’t stop asking and prying. The reason why he closed himself was that cursed, weird fetish of Korean players, one in particular. 

If he must admit it to himself, he understands that there is no place in the other’s heart for him and it was what unsettled him. He really was in love with Nick. Suddenly, he feels a rush of a powerful feeling - it flows through his senses, crawls on his skin and makes him want to wail, to cry out the inarticulate stream of random letters that cascades through his numb brain. He is still connected to the call, so he stays deadpan, but his head is dizzy and the two last days where he ate maybe one meal threaten to take his consciousness away if he doesn’t zone out of this emotion of being left for someone else once again, like a nerfed champion. “No...” he whispers under his breath in a voice so small he’s not sure if Miky even heard him.

The support shakes his head and says something, but Nemesis can’t process his words. For the first time since the quarantine has started, he feels hungry. The hunger is overwhelming, like his body has finally broken and is brutally reminding him that he has to fulfill the most basic needs, not only play League of Legends for 17 hours a day. He hangs up the call to the sound of Miky’s protests and grabs something. Whatever, it doesn’t mean what it is, he has to eat. He looks at his tower of uneaten meals from all the days and grabs a little bowl of rice. Ugh, rice. It’s awful but filling and this is what Nemesis needs - to stop the feeling of exhausted desperation from attacking his stomach. He could eat some chicken or fish or whatever the other food containers are full of, but he’s nauseous at even a thought of those. Sugar is what he craves. He takes a kitkat package and rips it apart, pieces of chocolate landing on the floor, but he doesn’t care - room service will clean it later anyway. His hands are shaking as he throws pieces of the bar into his rice, and really, it’s funny that he didn’t notice his condition before. He wheezes a bit, alone with his wild hunger in a room where nobody can hear him.

He doesn’t eat much. To be honest, he’s full after one bowl of rice with kitkats. He rolls to the side on his bed and as sugar settles in his stomach and emotions settle in his mind, he falls asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> For the love of God please don’t be Nemesis and don’t “research how a relationship with a Korean would work” through porn. Nor through Korean dramas for that matter. 
> 
> Ah yes, we all love writing Rekkclown, but here I am with some Nemeclown because I’m a terrible simp :KEKW:
> 
> Okay, I didn’t succeed in writing the whole thing down (i- it's supposed to be a oneshot....,,,), so it’s going to be chaptered, sooo I guess next chapter in a year? lmao


End file.
